Part One: Planning

Part I

I'm often asked why I like Japan. I don't really have an answer. A lot of foreigners here love anime, or karate, or one of the other "refined arts of Japan", or they are business oriented people and see Japan as a great opportunity. I don't have any of these answers. I normally just answer "なんとなく"　（because）. It usually gets a polite giggle, and everyone forgets about it.

The thing is, as much as love Japan, I can hate it so much sometimes. The countryside, the boring job, and the general indifference of Japanese people which often comes off as arrogant, daft, or just plain stupid. There is a limit for most foreign people of how much Japan they can take at a time, and if there isn't they are probably insane. My limit seems to be set at about 6 months. In September i began going crazy at the realisation there was a whole school year before my contract ends. I needed to get out again.

This is Ruben out Japanland.

I had planned this to Korea trip for 2 1/2 months, and the very fact I was looking forward to it probably saved the lives of several innocent bystanders, which, as a teacher -often around small children- was very good thing. I never ended up writing about my previous trip to Shanghai earlier this year at the end of January. At that time, I was going to rendezvous with my father who was going to stop-over from a trip to Germany in Shanghai for 3 nights. He speaks some Chinese, so I didn't really need to plan much. He even paid for my hotel room and made some tentative plans. Besides, I hadn't seen him in 6 months, and wouldn't for at least 12 more, so I didn't even want to plan much.

So I trained to Kansai airport and took the short flight across the Japan sea (I always ask Japanese people, but why isn't it called the "China sea"? I mean really, as they say, it takes 2 to tango. Or do Chinese call it the China Sea? Or is this just residual imperial Japanese policy? It's an interesting question, no?). Anyways, I loved the feeling of getting out of Japan. Sure, it was just as cold there as when I left. It's just, Japan isn't a foreign country to me anymore. Not that I'm anywhere near fluent in Japanese, but I get by just fine, and things don't really surprises me much anymore.

In Shanghai, I remember the bus ride from the airport to the hotel so clearly. The cars and the buildings- everything- was covered with a thick layer of corporate communism, in the form of dust from eternal construcion and deconstruction. I couldn't help but notice the sickening irony of the new construction of high-rise buildings and one of the worlds fastest railways, towering above the slums. Seeing things like this makes you realise how easily Japanese people have become so complacent .

So I got off at Shanghai station, and I had only a tiny map torn from a travel brochure to find my hotel. There were hundreds of people sitting outside the station with all their worldly possessions bundled up. I presumed they were waiting to leave. It was so hard trying to even find a taxi, let alone one who would even bother with a completely ignorant foreigner. Eventually I did. I almost regretted it. Before I even got my seatbelt on, we were already in 15 near-death-causing accidents. He drove 2 blocks, and told me to get out cross the road. This was even scarier. I usually fare badly in countries that drive on the right side of the road, but this was something else. Several cars honked at me, but didn't bother slowing down. Somehow,I arrived at the hotel, elated to be alive and kind of nervous to see my father. I checked in, and that's when the hotel staff handed me a notice.

It read: "Ruben, my visa was voided, and I cannot come to China. From your father".

Well, he didn't write "your father", and i think he wrote it in Dutch. What am I, a scribe? I actually thought at first this was a small joke of my father, and he would jump me as soon as I opened the door. I was ready for it. But he wasn't there. I checked the toilets, and behind the shower curtain. He really wasn't there. He really was stuck at the airport in Munich (due to some customs idiot writing a small mark on my fathers visa for China, in pencil, therby voiding it... Honestly, he deserves sympathy, not me.)

Instantly, my holiday had changed completely. Now, I was on my own for 5 days in a huge city where I didn't know any of the attractions or things to see. I couldn't speak any of the language, I didn't know what kind of places were unsafe, or how to get around the city. I didn't even know how much the money I had was worth.

I still made a good time out of it, leaving behind millions of footsteps all over the city. I walked through the poorest and most miserable places I've ever seen (including on TV), saw the main temples, haggled at the markets, went up the Oriental Pearl Tower (which my verigoed father would never have done) and sat in a 500 year+ old Chinese garden and wrote. It was a shame my father couldn't be there, but I did make the most of it.

I also discovered just how long 5 days is, when you are on your own. I went to the park outside the city. This place was so vast it was sickening. It had a huge fake lake and beach, just so that couples could go on a perfect date and soon after have their one child. I felt so empty. The only conversations I had in 5 whole days was when I accidentally walked past the People's park in the city centre right at the time there was an English speaking gathering. I was the only authentic foreigner there, and I was literally swarmed with people aged from 6 to over 90 all trying to speak English to me at the same time.

The other time I had a slighlty longer conversation was when I was walking down the street and I noticed a guy running alongside me (I walk briskly, especially compared to the average asian leg-length). He was smiling at me. I looked the other way. There was another guy doing the same. The first guy shouted at me "shoe shine!". I dismissivley shook my head at him and kept walking ahead. I would never have anyone shine my shoes, I would feel like an asshole. Besides, I was wearing Chuck Taylor All-stars, which consist mainly of fabric. Anyways, I was walking the streets in the dirtiest city I have ever seen. Among the horrors I saw on the streets, I walked over human faecal matter, and a dead rat. I was planning to throw out these shoes at Japanese customs.

The repeated himself, and I didnt reward his tantrum. But this guy was good, he ran ahead, knelt down and placed a blob of white shoeshine on the plastic tip of my converse shoe.
"Ah fuck, just wipe it off", I said, irritated. Instead, he started rubbing furiously, and the other guy started on my other shoe. I tried walking away, but I couldn't. My fatal mistake was wearing flares, and they were holding me firmly in place. I was stuck for about 5 minutes, as they kept polishing and reminding me that I'm a wealthy american. "Give me 10 dollar" he shouted. (why is it that people in China seem to only shout? I have no idea where the name "chinese whispers" came from, because I'm sure it has never happened before). I was getting rather annoyed, and I was not going to give them anything, and they weren't going to let me leave. There was a small crowd gathered by now to witness the spectacle. Eventually a policeman came over and broke it up, although unwillingly, as he was among the small crowd. So I escaped, and bought myself the most expensive coffee in my life at a starbucks.

So, that was the most fulfilling conversation I'd had in 5 days. I was in this huge park on my last day, and I decided I would go to to a museum, and then go to sleep early at the hotel.When I got to the museum, 3 girls started up conversation with me. They were international studies students at a university in Inner Mongolia, and were on winter holidays. That's awesome, I'd never met real Inner Mongolians before. They were so happy to actually speak with a real foreigner, as they don't really exist in Inner Mongolia. (man I love saying "Inner Mongolia"). After a while they mentioned they were going to a tea ceremony festival. At the hotel I saw this on TV, and this guy was juggling tea-pots with spouts one metre long and pouring them into tiny cups at the other side of the room. I hadn't really seen any Chinese cultural things yet, and never in my life was I so happy to have so much conversation. And, let us be honest, they were girls, which, even though they weren't hot, is still appreciated.

So we went down some alleys, and into a small teahouse. It was different to what I expected. There was a girl serving tea and explaining it, and then I was explained in in Inner Mongolian-style English. We did a course of 7 teas, with an amazing range of flavours. Bitter tea that literally danced when water was added, naturally-sweet tea, a flowering magnolia tea... It was incredible. As was the bill. Holy crap. It cost me 30 000 yen (at the time, just under $300 US), which I only just had on me. I was shocked, but it made sense to me: corporate communism... It was my last day, so I didn't need my Chinese money anymore. But, holy crap!

It was only once I got back to Japan, and deconstructed the story to my friends and their enjoyment, that I realised I was scammed. Bigtime. These girls were good, and obviously had a deal with the teahouse. Even so, I made them work for that money, and I needed some kind of human interaction to stop me from going insane. It was the best 30 000yen I never intended to spend. I only feel cheated when I think that they were probably not even from Inner Mongolia.

This time though, on my holiday to Korea, I was not going to repeat my mistakes of Shanghai. I used my boredom time at school to research about Korea.

Interesting facts. Eating dog is prevalent in Korea. It was made a crime in 1998 due to international pressure coinciding with events such as the World Cup Soccer, but this is not enforced, and dog can be found at less mainstream restaurants.
Language. Just the usual greetings. And i purchased a game for my Nintendo DS which you can use to enter something in Japanese and it pronnounces it in Korean. This turned out to be completely useless.
Geography. Seoul is at the north of South Korea.
History. Japan has beaten and raped Korea all throughout history. This is no surprise, but the extent of it was quite incredible.

More importantly, I have a friend living in Korea, and I was able to stay at her mothers apartment. Things looked set. On the last school day before I left, a teacher at my school asked me:
"you are going somewhere next week?"
Yes, just like I asked you over 2 months ago, and keep mentioning to you.
"So", she began accusingly, "you wont come to class next week?"

She said this, INFRONT OF THE CLASS! It was this kind of atmosphere I needed to escape, and I had taken a whole week off school. It was a mid-term holiday. I was so excited. The next day I was off to Korea.

Now, Japanese people have a very strong idea that their culture is unique. I have had hundreds of conversations with people here telling them that other countries also, in fact, have 4 seasons. My Japanese teacher, who is a very smart and worldly woman even tried convincing me that tofu was a Japanese invention. They also have a unnatural distrust or fear of Korea, as if Korea has been invading Japan for the last 500 years. In fact, most Japanese culture came from Korea or China (via Korea), and yet, possibly the biggest insult you could give a Japanese person is saying they look Korean.

In a delightful twist of irony, the day I was leaving Japan to go to Korea was Japan Culture day. It seemed perfect. I needed some time out of Japanland.